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 Ernest Hemingway Message Boards : Men Without Women
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Joined: 14 September 2006
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1
Posted: 14 September 2006 at 7:02am | IP Logged Quote Bren

Anyone have an extreme long distance relationship?  I
have to be away
for months at a time, often with e-mail access but no
phone.  How do
you survive this?  I'm going crazy here.

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Joined: 08 December 2005
Location: United States
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Posts: 7
Posted: 15 September 2006 at 12:30pm | IP Logged Quote wemedge



Bren you never know how your life will go and what will become of your hopes and dreams. To me it's like driving down a long curvy road just after the first rain in March. You watch the stream along the banks as you glide along the parkway. The leaves on the trees glisten as the sun peaks through the clouds. It's like looking at something so beautiful it makes your heart ache just to look upon it. To me, that heart ache you are feeling from this relationship is a whirlwind of powerful emotions. Loneliness is a sense of uncertainty. The sense of feeling awfully bad about loosing the person you love. Relationships are built on trust. If you honestly trust that person and they honestly trust you, then you can make it through this. Follow your dreams and let your heart lead you to where your going. Good luck old sport.


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Joined: 14 August 2005
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Posts: 547
Posted: 16 September 2006 at 4:59pm | IP Logged Quote hijo

Bren: it is tough. I've had a few in the past, and most notably my father and mother married days before he shipped out for World War II.

I bring that up only to suggest that, as my parents never failed to note, people "meant to be together" find a way to be together despite distance, and war, and other aspects of everyday modern life.

E-mail is a blessing, though. I far prefer it to telephone conversation. It seems in some ways you can better get subtlety in written words than even in spoken words when you can't see the speaker. In my parents time, people wrote actual "snail-mail" letters, which took forever to arrive, and wound up cut-up by censors. But taking the time out of a normally busy day to sit down and write out your thoughts, and hopes, and experiences, and feelings to people you care about - while not necessarily effective in maintaining close bonds - will at least give you an outlet.

And there is nothing better than being able to share such things with people you care about, and nothing more appreciated, either.

My parents, by the way, were married more than 50 years, the roughest patch apparently being when my father returned from service depressed, tired, and angry. My mother promptly enrolled both of them in college - a logical place, courtesy of the GI Bill, for people wanting to "get on with their lives."

The experience of going to college together helped pull them closer, I think. Then again, they chose the same field and wound up splitting it down the middle based on their individual interests.

Just a thought for your future, regardless of the relationship you're talking about.

Oh, and lastly, if the place you have to be away to is new to you, or the way you encouter it (through work, through travel, through living there) at all fresh, now's the time anyway to write down your impressions, as they'll never be as sharp and accurate as they are now. If you were writing to me, I'd want to know: where do you stay and what's near? What happens when you wake up? Do you have to go out for breakfast? What is it and where and how do you do that? Even things as "mundane" as how laundry gets done - or what happens to it - can be interesting to people "stuck here" while "you're there."

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