|Posted: 18 April 2006 at 12:11am | IP Logged
“The Ride Home” by lwd
“That woman is either stupid or rude.”
“Please don’t say anything, honey.”
“I am going to speak with her.”
“What is wrong with her? Why didn’t she use the pump in front?”
“She is almost done. Please wait a minute.”
And so we waited while the stupid and rude woman finished filling her hideous Ford Explorer with gasoline. Carolyn didn’t want me to make a scene and I didn’t want to upset Carolyn.
When we were finally able to leave the Exxon station, we drove to Centertown to pick up the girls at their mother’s house. It used to be my house and my grandfather’s house, but now it was the house that my children lived in with their mother and my despicable ex-wife, Lisa Brookes Mueller.
“Yes, we will be good.” The girls promised their mother.
“I will have them home by nine o’clock Sunday night.” I promised my ex-wife.
“My attorney says that you’ve been doing very well with your investments and that the company has landed some big projects. He said I should get a raise. So the girls could live a little larger.” Lisa Brooks Mueller said to her lottery ticket.
“Fax me!” I said as I started chasing after my twin eleven year old girls, Mo and Susan, who were headed for the Pilot.
“Carolyn, do you mind driving. I am going to tickle these girls until they say, 'I love homework'.”
“Go right ahead, but there are two of them and only one of you.”
“That’s right Daddy. It is two to one.”
The tickling business lasted for less than a minute before we stopped to talk about the weekend plans.
I’m not sure how much time had gone by, but I heard Carolyn say “Oh no!” And I felt the vehicle swerved hard to the left and then back to the right. She pulled over to the side of the road and stopped.
“There was a doe in the road. I might have hit her.”
“Where is he?”
“The deer, my dears, where is the deer?”
“You said underwear.”
“Stop it. I might have killed a beautiful deer.”
“We didn’t feel anything. I’ll check the car for damage. If you hit her there will be damage.”
I walked around the large silver Honda Pilot. I was relieved to find no damage to the vehicle. As I walked to the rear of the car, I thought I saw something in the brush on the side of the road. It was further up ahead. I walked back about fifty feet and saw a man sprawled out. I got close enough to recognize death. I walked back up to the front and found some cloth stuck in the brush guard on the front. I pulled it off and stuffed it in my pocket.
I walked back about halfway between the car and the man. I dialed a familiar number into my phone.
“Hey It’s me.”
“Thanks for the tickets. My kids thought the game was great.”
“Glad to hear it. Actually, I’m really glad to hear it, because I need a little favor.”
“What is it?”
“First of all, I’m sober as a judge.”
“Some of the judges I know put the stuff away pretty good.”
”I know some of those guys and ladies too. Anyway, I’m with my girls and my girl, and, well, I think we just killed some homeless guy with my damn car.”
“You sure you’re sober?”
“I never drink before I go to pick up the girls because Lisa would have me busted or something.”
“She still loves you, man.”
“Ya, my money. So, what do I do? What do you suggest I do?”
“Daddy is everything OK?”
“I got a business call. Stay inside. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Sorry. What should I do?”
“Are you sure he is dead?”
“Ya. He isn’t breathing. His neck might be broken. He is dead.”
“Did anybody see anything?”
“No. We are on Old Bridge Road. There hasn’t been any traffic.”
“Between the Brown place and King’s Road. On the highway side.”
“Just leave. I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks. Let me know what you need.”
“Girls, here I am.”
“Business call, my foot, I’ll bet it was a call of nature.” Said Carolyn underneath her breath, but loud enough for me to hear as I climbed into the front seat and said “Let’s make like a tree…”
“And leave!” Yelled Mo and Sue.
“When we get home, I am going to cook us a special treat.” I yelled out as Carolyn put the car in gear and drove away.
“Pizza! Pizza!” Chanted all three of the ladies.
“Pizza just happens to be my specialty.”