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 Ernest Hemingway Message Boards : General Questions
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Papa Cosa
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Posted: 12 November 2005 at 10:58pm | IP Logged Quote Papa Cosa

  Back by popular demand...well one person demanded it. 

 * Your sister sends you a telegram reading 'FATHER DIED THIS MORNING ARRANGE TO STOP HERE IF POSSIBLE' and you smile thinking everything is falling into place.

 * On a particularly depressing day you see the neighbor working on his lawn mower and make a run for the spinning blades.

 * At a exhibit of Hemingway's bloodied uniform you slap your stomach and ask to Papa Doble, 'Was I ever that thin?'

 * You wait each day at the mailbox awaiting the money that 'Got Papa?' guy from the board owes you.

 * You can't understand how the latest American Masters got made without your consent.

 * You insist Hotchner introduce you to Paul Newman because of all the money he's made writing about you.

  * Despite being married and a heterosexual you're seriously thinking about asking that dude at Blockbuster out because he looks like Pauline  Pfeiffer.



Edited by Papa Cosa on 12 November 2005 at 11:09pm
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hijo
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Posted: 12 November 2005 at 11:34pm | IP Logged Quote hijo

*The dude at Blockbuster is thinking of asking YOU out, because he believes he WAS Pauline Pfeiffer, in a past life...

*You visit a local gun shop staring down the barrel-end, rather than breach-end, of every shotgun on the shelf seeing if you can reach the trigger. The owner stops you from slamming the hammer into the anvil without any shells just as you give up...

*You look for attractive blonde german actresses just to shout "Hey, Kraut!" across a crowd...

*You start combing your hair forward even if you don't have a balding spot, and squint a lot with gritted teeth even if you have 20/20 vision...
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Papa Doble
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Posted: 13 November 2005 at 2:58pm | IP Logged Quote Papa Doble

 

...You time your divorces so that the marriages last as long as Papa's.

...Your romance advice sounds like boxing lessons.

...You're watching the heavyweight fight and disgustedly turn off the set after  realizing that Hemingway could kick both fighters' asses.

...You see Papa Doble and Papa Cosa at breakfast, but you can't tell them apart because you're both doing dead-on Hemingway impressions. (True Story!)

...You treat your friends who don't like Hemingway like they were William Faulkner or James Jones.



Edited by Papa Doble on 15 November 2005 at 8:44pm
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Papa Cosa
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Posted: 15 November 2005 at 2:42pm | IP Logged Quote Papa Cosa

 

  * You've fooled people with the way you've attached 'Rifle Team' to your year book and you've fooled people even though you're holding a shotgun.  But nothing can fool them into into not seeing the terrorfied golf team behind you.

  * You still insist you were with Hemingway on a fishing trip despite the fact that you are taped onto the photos and your half is in color.

 

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Pablo
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Posted: 15 November 2005 at 2:46pm | IP Logged Quote Pablo

           * You feel that any problem can be solved with a bottle of Absinthe

         *  You feel left out by being married to less than four women.

         *  ; You can't wait for your hair to turn white.

        



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rob on the job
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Posted: 15 November 2005 at 2:49pm | IP Logged Quote rob on the job

* ... you demand Room 108 and adjoining Room 109 at every motel where you stay, then asks how often the place is shelled by the Falangist rebels.

* ... you are married to one woman, romancing another, and you write your one and only play that excoriates both of them.

* ... you go into a Black Ass mood every time you finish writing something, even if it is only a shopping list.

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Papa Cosa
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Posted: 16 November 2005 at 9:05pm | IP Logged Quote Papa Cosa

 

 * You've created a website devoted to telling 'Joe hemingway' the gun went off because you pulled the trigger. 

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Leo 168
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Posted: 24 November 2005 at 6:47pm | IP Logged Quote Leo 168

Ah, I see that my favourite Hemwife is being dissed (tongue in cheek here, folks). I have to admit that most of the photos I've seen of her are not very flattering--especially when she's dressed like a...cowboy. But here's one that ain't half bad (scroll down to figure 3):

http://muse.jhu.edu/demo/hemingway_review/v023/23.1hemingway .html

Cheers,

Leo

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bookman
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Posted: 24 November 2005 at 7:38pm | IP Logged Quote bookman

YOU KNOW YOU'VE READ TOO MUCH...FAVORITE HEMWIFE...AND CATS
Sorry about getting off the topic, but reading the rest of that article reminds me of a previous post regarding the supposed cats of the Hemingway House in Key West. If you go down to Figure 6, the article quotes Patrick Hemingway, who dispels the myth of the Hemingway cats (there were none). Apparently they did have peacocks and a few caged raccoons, though.
And yes, that is a nice picture of Pauline.
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rob on the job
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Posted: 29 November 2005 at 4:19pm | IP Logged Quote rob on the job

... when you survive

* an Austrian motar shell
* three severe car crashes
* multiple concussions
* amoebic dysentery
* accidental shootings
* two consecutive plane crashes
* a skylight slashing open your head

... and you still have the nerve to proclaim, "My luck, she runs good."

Edited by rob on the job on 29 November 2005 at 4:21pm
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